Sunday, August 7, 2011

Is this short essay written well or is there too many run on sentences?

What started out as a festive and joyous occasion between friends and neighbors turned into utter chaos in a matter of minutes, as disaster strikes and the morality and friendship of four families is tested. It’s 1961 in a suburban area, and just as the four families were celebrating Bill’s birthday and making a toast in regards to the respect, love, and appreciation they all had towards him, a possible missile attack is announced on the radio after an unidentified flying object is spotted, that sends them all running haywire. Out of the bunch, only Bill was smart enough to build a bomb shelter in case such an event should ever occur and when it did, his neighbors and friends came to him to seek refuge. After Bill refuses to let anyone into the bomb shelter because of the lack of food, room, and possibly air that would not be enough to support more than three people, the group of friends and neighbors begin to show their true colors. Conflict arises and during the altercations, hurtful words are exchanged between friends as they bickered and argued over who should go into the shelter and who shouldn’t, and a fist fight even breaks out as they all try to forcefully stuff more than a dozen people into a 10x10 bomb shelter; that very same bomb shelter that they laughed at Bill for building in the first place. Eventually, they try to break down the door in hopes of being saved but just as they get through the door, the yellow alert is called off. Everyone is relieved at this point and they begin apologizing to one another and defending their berserk behavior during the state of panic, but they all learned something about each other. Their friendship would never be the same, no matter how many barbeques they threw, block parties they attended or excuses they made because the damage was already done.

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